The Last Saturday
How many Saturdays does it take to finish a project? Not a yard project, or a house project, or an art project or a kitchen project. I mean a life project. Multiple Saturdays, many Saturdays over years. Throw in some Sundays too.
During a study break today I realized tonight will be the last Saturday night I study. Potentially forever. I don’t think I’ll be studying Saturday nights for the RD exam. How many Saturday nights have I spent behind the computer in pursuit of this dream? whoa….lots. I say this because Saturday nights are extremely valuable – maybe more so than any other night of the week – because Saturdays are usually reserved for the things you want to do. Hobbies, relationships, going out, doing whatever your heart desires. Sunday tends to be a chore day in my house, plus more homework, so it doesn’t have that can-do energy that Saturday does – like all things are possible. I think I got more quality homework done and papers written on Saturdays than any other day of the week during all 6 years of school.
So tonight, I am preparing for my master’s thesis defense on Monday. As usual, I feel unprepared, no matter how well prepared I actually am. I passed mental exhaustion weeks ago, and this strange burst of energy I have right now is either quiet desperation in the last 100m of this marathon or stimulated by a lunar eclipse in some astrological sign I don’t know about. I hear my spouse watching LOTR downstairs and I’d love to veg on the couch with him, but I have an epic presentation to finish. Knowing this is all going to end this next week (and a few days into the next) has got me in my feels a bit – pardon the emo reflection.
Saturdays, I think, is the best we have to offer – we spend it doing things that give us purpose. Maybe it is a domestic project or hobby or giving/serving others. I’ve spent a lot of Saturdays just like this – buried in a school project or paper – so I can spend future Saturdays feeling like I didn’t waste my life. Maybe there will be some future Saturdays that I can feel good about having made someone’s life better that week as a dietitian, or I can spend in the community doing nutrition things instead of just learning about them. I am somewhat intimidated at the prospect of the major life change I am about to experience – unshackled from a demanding school schedule since 2017, I have no idea what will happen after next week. Someone smart once said “your new life will cost you your old one” and I have a feeling they are right. After Christmas and New Year’s, all my Saturdays are mine again, and I have no idea what to do with them.
So, cheers to the last Saturday night of homework. Someday I might reflect on these nights as being some of the most challenging and meaningful times of my life and be proud of myself and my accomplishments; I will need some distance from school to truly appreciate them. As difficult and stressful as this program has been, it gave me great purpose and renewed faith in my natural abilities. The investment of all my Saturdays, then, will have been worth it. Let’s see if doing well on Monday’s presentation has the Saturday ROI I expect.