When Things Go Full Plaid
I had some plans, you know? I had it all figured out. I would slam through my internship, pound through two additional semesters of masters classes, take this blasted test and be an RD dammit! Of course, in the wise words of Pema Chodron, things fall apart. The future seems uncertain to me now, as I’m sure it does for many others. Nothing is off track yet – I’m wrapping up summer semester and I’m registered for fall, so that seems to be OK. MSU just mandated masks and the jab, but I’m not sure how they can enforce that if I’m online-only. If they justify kicking me out, that will be interesting and heartbreaking – but I won’t be alone. Missing a 2nd graduation due to Coof will also squish me like a bug, but everyone’s eating a crap sandwich right now. Fear is pestilent.
When I started down this path in 2015 I was excited to be in a health career. I love to help people and being able to help heal someone is a miracle. Of course I/we had no idea all this would happen. Don’t get me wrong – I do believe Coof is a problem. I saw some very sick people in my ICU rotation at St Mary’s. I had Coof. I also believe something is very wrong about this whole situation and we are being lied to on a daily basis by multiple entities with lots of power to make us miserable. Now people like me are being threatened with discrimination on several levels. If I make it to the end of this process I may be confronted constantly about my jab status, as it seems that is a popular social currency right now and not likely to go away. How will I find work? I’m trying to accept the fact that I may finish this process and have to return to the workforce without using my training, whilst paying a school loan for an education I can’t use. This makes doing homework I hate more difficult. Not to mention the psychological distraction of when people are going to start taking things away from us (like the ability to make money or shop for food) and the potential aftermath.
“Full Plaid” is from Spaceballs. I love plaid, and we are coming up on the season where I get to wear it a lot. It also means when things go completely off the rails, and that season may also be coming up. I usually love the end of summer – Lughnasadh (Aug 1st) is a celtic holiday where you begin to see the harvest of the efforts of earlier in the year – and my garden is producing admirably despite some missteps and difficulties early on. Life isn’t harvesting much right now though – it feels like a scary holding pattern – we are OK today, but what about tomorrow? In all things God works behind the scenes, and He will in this situation too. I still believe I am where I am supposed to be, so maybe the harvest of this season is the lesson of faith and patience. Much harder lesson than losing my zucchini plant to mold, cherry tomatoes to the deer, and grapes to RoundUp (all of which has happened).
So off I go to do more statistics homework. Praying every night for God’s protection in our lives (and yours too, if you’re reading this) so when things go full Plaid we can stand on our principals and wait for God. Pema Chodron also says things that fall apart fall back together too, so ? We’ll see.